Ended off the year doing what I love best.

and starting the year on the same note too (:

2013, bring it on!

almost the end of 2012

thought I'll blog today

and then I see a cbox comment by a troll. Well there's a first time for everything!

This week was a pretty decent week of training compared to the last few. So 40km+ in C1 for this week, and 30km+ in k1. Plus weights and run. One of the better trainings was Friday's swim, 4km then 2 x 50m 100%. Thought i'll just swim 1km at most, judging from the previous attempts of 750m and less. But strangely, shoulders didn't hurt at all, and it felt so good to be back swimming.


I will recover fully and I will get even stronger and much faster than before, and I will represent Singapore at the SEA games (and beyond) and win gold medal(s).

If you tell me I can't do it, then well, I'm not listening anymore. Time to revive that spirit that made 2009 such an awesome year. And yes, that includes steering clear of small-minded people. Sometimes I think lapse too much into being kind. It's strange (for lack of a better word) how some words/things stick in your mind. A trusted friend once said you need to be selfish at times.

And perhaps that's what I'm doing now.

Let's keep the specifics to next week; there are details missing in that declaration above; rmb the last time I wasn't specific about MY gold medal? Some new dream is brewing. A wise man once said, "when one dream dies, dream another dream".

What if you believe?

Been having a good run of trainings with the boys. They are improving and I'm happy for them. Did some fun weights today. Bench pull 4 x 25, heavy enough to kill my forearms. Haven't felt this kind of pain in a long long while (actually, was just thinking about it after reading the NYT playground article). And it was all good, thanks guys. It's still premature, but thank you for allowing me to walk this journey with you.

So it is back to school next sem, albeit partially since FYP is still at the lab. You know what's the biggest drawback about internship? It lets you see the possibilities out there until there is a slight reluctance to return to school. But no worries, will get into the swing of things... starting with course registration on friday!

A couple of weeks ago, I thought my thoughts were just spur-of-the-moment impulsiveness. But now it is clear, as I wrote in my feedback form. Speaking of which, poorly designed forms irk me extremely. I am looking for a different purpose in life (from what the job could offer), and I know where it is/where I belong. I know a place that can marry my skills and passion; I found it 7 years ago (:

Work last week was rather draining, both physically and mentally. Took the weekend off to rest. Too many battles to fight, I need to dig up the resolve to only fight those that will get me to where I want to be.

When one dream dies, dream another dream.

Mr Low's Fb status update just jumped at me. From the man who said "When your work is your life, it is balanced",

When one dream dies, dream another dream.

So today I got down to being a subject in a solid pilot trial, complete with temperature pill ingestion, arm cannulation and lots of cycling + drink ingestion. Was some experience, the whole thing took 10 hours!

42.195 round 3

Round 3: 5h 55m 11s (2012)
Round 2 was ~6:50 (2008) and the first sattempt ~7:30 (2007).

So yes, definitely not fast, but still it's my PB by quite a lot (:

Was an interesting experience. Got up at 3am to get ready. Thank you SMRT and SBS drivers for waking up so early so that we the stan chart runners could get to the start line on time.

So there I was, 5am at the start line with many other people who thought this was the best way to spend a nice Sunday morning.

Started at a very conservative pace, was aiming something like 8-9km/h only. After awhile, I caught sight of the 5:15 pacers (thanks guys!) and stuck with them for 20 km. Just checked my splits, took 2h 23m, so actually on course for sub 5. Oh, did I mention these five (japenese?) who were dressed as power rangers? Like the full works, and they had the go-go-power rangers song too! Ah yes, and more superhero spotting, wonderwoman, Zorro and a couple more others.

 Ok so back to the run, then things started getting painful at the 20km. That's where I dropped off from the 5:15 guys+gal. This was not good, since previous years my legs usually ko at the 26km or 30km+ mark. At that point of time, only one thought going through my mind: "I'll never do this again. If you see me at the full marathon next time, you have permission to break my legs"...

So it was a painful trudge/slow jog/walk + stopping to stretch (that felt good!). Each kilometre seemed forever. Oh yes, and the part about over-drinking? I figured my hands didn't swell because of hyponatraemia-like symptoms since I felt it as early as 2km into the run! But was quite careful, so I only drank the first time at 10km (or was it 12?), then only 2 other times including the one at 20km. Haha, yes, but after that, threw out all the plans. Decided some water and 100 plus would help to lubricate the joints, total I must have had close to 20 cups of drink (~6 water 14 100 plus). I have no complaints about the route, but east coast park has once again proven to be the bane of my marathon attempt.

Don't know if it's cos so much time has passed since the last time I did the full (I did half last year), but the fellow runners didn't seem quite as chatty. Not that it matters to me though! Oh and the feel I had was that there were less female runners this time round?

And suddenly (ok not quite, it took forever remember?) I found myself at the 30km mark. Didn't sound too bad, only 12km left. Actually from 22km I was already counting to see if I could make a 5:30 (No, the 5:30 pacers ran past me at ECP). But I could still make sub 6h if I went at a decent pace. That means no walking for the whole thing!

And suddenly again, it was 6km to go. But before that, there was that mega slope outside MBS. When I saw it from afar, I thought that was when I was going to have to walk. But when I actually got there, I took one step, then another, then another- didn't seem quite hard! As it was with the rest of the run, it was really about taking the next step. Another note of thanks, this time to the awesome cheer squad at the marina barrage and outside the esplanade.

And then we have almost arrived. I find myself at esplanade with 2km to go and very quickly it became 1km to go with city hall/ padang in sight. Previous years my feet would have been in too much pain to even attempt picking up the pace. But this time it was different. I started speeding up, telling myself that at most it's another 1200m set, and hey, I can do that in 5 minutes right. There was some frantic watch-checking to see if the sub 6 was still possible.

Remember the part about "never again"? The last 500m changed my mind. The crowd was just amazing and cheering their hearts out for the runners. In one word, the atmosphere was electrifying. As I ran past them, I picked it up further, and for that fleeting moment I really believed I could fly.

So yes, it was painful, but to do it all over again to feel that last 500m would be worth it.

On a more practical note, I don't think my legs/feet are cut out for anything >2.5h. So half marathon and 10k still falls within that (actually, the 10th position for women's open 10k is 46m, not impossible I think!). Hm.. and yes, had a few scares with my shoulders during the run. Some awkward swings were enough to jolt me from whatever pain there was in the lower limbs.

Conclusion, overall I felt the race was much better organised so thank you to the people who made it possible. If you haven't tried a marathon, make it happen within a lifetime!

(:

Surely I should have lost my strength after 5 months + 5 months of almost no pullups and weights.

But no. After a frustrating attempt to run some intervals (was easier than an easy run for my heart, but shoulders were dying), did 3 pullups and stopped cos shoulder pain. But it felt so easy, like it barely took me any effort. It was as tiring as say lifting a cup of water to drink. That easy. And not forgetting the 60kg real weight bench pull with no sweat. And yes, the 75kg real weight bench pull record that was set when my shoulder was spoilt already.

So there, the more I think about it, I should have lost my strength, but I didn't. So I am convinced there must be some grand scheme of things out there.

Keep believing.

I have this fantastic, crazy dream. So come on world, join me in this great conspiracy (:

Well, things have changed a bit.

"The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.It isn't a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled,but it is a calamity not to dream.It is not a disaster to be unable to capture your ideal,but it is a disaster to have no ideal to capture.It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars,but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for."- Dr. Benjamin Mays

On another note, 4 more years? And no, this is not about hope and change.

What if you believe?

23

Happy 23rd (:

Started the day off with a nice paddling session. Halfway through boat didn't feel like it was moving though. But today was awesome for the pseudo 2km I did. 3 k4s, 1k2, 1k1, 1c2 and me, mass start. Shan't say too much about the start since the other boats haven't learnt to start properly, but the adrenaline rush was pretty nice.

Loved the after-glowing/burning sensation. Slowly but surely, it is coming back (:

Thanks to the rj kids for the celebration (: Let's make this happen

What if you believe?  

Hello blog, time for another post.

Today did a rather painful ~1.5h worth of cycling on the Velotron, all in the name of science. Thanks loads to Aldrich for helping me out. Finally settling in, haha, after 5 months. Fingers crossed I'll continue at my internship for a couple more months.

Been  paddling early these few weeks, and MacR is really beautiful in the morning. and evening. and afternoon... ok, not quite afternoon but yes, being on water is really nice. I guess losing it once makes me treasure it even more. So in spite of common sense, I will continue to be as optimistic as I can. Still have it in me so let's make this work, world.

On another note, it's strange how we make friends/acquaintance. But whichever the case, it's nice knowing that there are people out there I would trust my life with.

(:

I've never believed in sport psychology (Just be strong and focused, what's so hard? haha) But this spoke to me. Ok, I know it says whitewater, but it applies.

Jonathan Males | Performance1 -
Injury damages your self-esteem, not just your body
A serious injury does more than hurt your body – it can also challenge your sense of identity and self-esteem. Anyone who is talented, passionate about their sport and devotes serious time and effort will feel pride in their achievements and skill. Kayaking becomes more than something you do, it becomes who you are. This merging of identity with activity is more prevalent with younger paddlers. They often have more time to devote to paddling and they have had less time on the planet to diversify and develop different skills and aspects of their identity.
So whilst older paddlers might be more prone to getting hurt because of their ageing, battered bodies, the psychological impact may be less because they have a non-paddling career and family commitments that contribute to their sense of identity. For younger paddlers it’s important to develop a sense of perspective, especially about rehabilitation time spent off the water. This can easily feel like wasted time and create frustration – which isn’t good for confidence. Instead, see it as a positive opportunity to spend time with people and do things you wouldn’t normally do. Like learning Spanish in preparation for your trip to Chile, or visiting your family who haven’t seen you for the last six months.

Rebuild your confidence Confidence is built up over time from three sources. After an accident or injury you need to systematically go back over all these areas to re-build your confidence.
Internal: Remind why you love paddling so much, think about the great times you’ve had and your favourite trips. If you can, watch video of yourself paddling well. Replace your inner critic with an inner coach if you find that you’re still beating yourself up. Don’t tell yourself anything you wouldn’t want to hear from someone else. Visualise yourself paddling well, and when you’re ready, re-play the incident where you were hurt or messed up, but in your imagination nail the lines and paddle the feature successfully.
Relationships: Hang out with people you like and who like you. And not just your paddling buddies, you can get strength and affirmation from friends and family. The important thing is to spend time with people who love and appreciate you for who your are – not just your paddling!
Environment: Even if you can’t paddle, spend time you doing good things outdoors. We are so fortunate as paddlers to spend time on beautiful rivers in fantastic parts of the world. It’s important to stay connected with this, even if it means walking rather than paddling. Once you start paddling again, build up gradually. You don’t need to go right back to the beginning, but don’t expect to start where you left off either. Make sure that you paddle with people you like and feel confident with, and focus on enjoying the whole experience – not just the stout stuff.

Nice quote, ben: Gotta train with the best or die like the rest

Begin with the end in mind- I know what I'll be doing on the last official day of my 22 week internship.

The first time I did it, I said never again.

Then I went back a second time. Again, I said never again.

My good senses have prevailed... until now. 3 years and 44 weeks later, looking out of the window (and not doing 'productive' work at my office desk) during one Friday afternoon - nice clouds and blue sky by the way - irrationality has won.

So why? I don't know either. The first time was for the shirt. Been there, done that. Second time, just to have another go at it. This time, well, i really don't know. In any case, see you at the finish line!

p.s. But I'm not paying to run; under the corporate program, company is paying (:

revelation

haven't been here in awhile, blogger has changed their layout.

Revelation today. Things seem much clearer. I know where I want to go. Let's make it happen. Onward!

Not all who wander are lost...

Things are looking up (:

ENJOLRAS
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

COMBEFERRE
Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Courfeyrac:
Then join in the fight
That will give you the right to be free!

ALL
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

FEUILLY
Will you give all you can give
So that our banner may advance
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the martyrs
Will water the meadows of France!

ALL
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Hello, it's been a long time. Hope this finds you well

Anyway life is good. Ended year 3 exams in May, went off to Bintan for my 5th CCAL camp, Hungary for 3 weeks training camp, and 3 hours within touchdown, reported for a good start to my 22-week internship with DSO- 27h shift covering the CDO 72RM. What an exciting internship yes?

The days are long but the months are short. Seems like a long time since I officially started interning with DSO. Then I realise 2nd july was just this monday! Intern life is good, I can get used to it. The most impt thing? No work (or at least no obligated work) to bring home! Thanks to the Official Secrets Act! Though I think I've stayed beyond the stipulated working hours (every day?), yea, but it's good. Hope the lab will get even busier in the weeks to come!

And did I mention I AM BACK ON WATER!! (: (: haha. No proper paddling yet, just 2nd exercise, need to keep the shoulders down. Feels good. The last few times I took a break off water, coming back felt difficult. This time it's different. Pleasantly surprised that things still flowed. So yes, my last chance to get the best technique, and onward!

Next week 2 adventures are planned. Stay tuned!

Read the link for full article/ context:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/feb/20/chrissie-wellington-ironman-triathlete?fb=native

"Those thoughts went through my head when he shouted at me that, 'You're weak, you'll never be successful.' Well, yeah, I was crying into my goggles but the other part of me said, 'I'll show you, you bastard. I'm going to prove to you that I'm not weak.'

Some day, "I have got nothing to prove to anyone anymore".

But it is not yet, not today, not tomorrow (:

Not all those who wander are lost

Reflective mood. Been reading a blog by yong sheng, an aspiring decathlete (and only one in Singapore). Been 6 years since he started his journey, and most recently, failed to make it to the SEA games. Guess what, it's been 6 years since i've started this paddling journey, and 4.5 years since I started dreaming the big dream.

And I got thrashed last friday at 70% paddling. Was horrible beyond anything. I've tried, I've tried, and I've failed and failed.

So let's try again.

So i've been paddling 4 times over the last 2 days. Searching for that elusive technique that I know I will find. and keep. and make it the best.

2013, what if you believe?