It's complicated

long time since the real last update

anw i've signed up for marathon again (: Last year, remembered thinking at the start line, "What am i doing here at 5.30 in the morning?". Then i ran, jog, walked, limped, along with 9,000 others, to the finish line, got the finisher's shirt, couldn't walk for 3 weeks. And well, here we go again (:

Tomorrow, going for on-the-job training as service crew at this place near my house (West End). Some continental fusion cafe/restaurant/dining, the food's pretty good. When (not if) i get the job, $6/hr, it'll be 6-11pm, perfect timing (:

Unfinished business; it's complicated.

training's been good. Good as in i'm better than yesterday. Training now is about 90% on my own, and more than half the time i have the entire macritchie to myself (:

Training alone changes the dimension of training. Having teammates around can help to pace, push and encourage. In the midst of the training program is a comforting fact that everyone is doing this together and it will work for all of us. No doubt, it is with a certain envy that i look at the nus team with. On the other hand, in this solitary existence, i better believe in what i'm doing cos there's nothing else. Essentially in terms of performance, training is about improving your chances of winning. So i must posses and execute the best battle plan out there- my gold medals plan. and if i'm rowing for a dream, this is how it will be done.

Strange, that day someone was asking me if i had to choose between a gold medal and 5 As. You know what, i chose both. (though the gold medal could have been more specific) Anw, that was the last time i did a real goal setting and it wasn't SMART; it was just something i wanted to work for. Hm.. come to think of it, it was always about 99% conviction and 1%. That 1% of uncertainty keeps life exciting!

seven gold medals.

"Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere and sometimes in the middle of nowhere you find yourself. "

Before i embarked on this ambitious journey, I did consider the odds. My training philosophy: I need to train hard enough and be good enough to justify beating the faster, more talented and more experienced competitors (think twice my experience). Yes, it doesn't matter where i am, but it matters where i'm going. Strictly on performance again, I am training to be deserving of the gold medals.

a latin proverb: "If there is no wind, row" What do you make out of it?

Training focus is now on strokes. (last week's was getting used to distance). Honestly it is frustrating not to be able to transmit power into the stroke, but I know i'll get it if i keep working hard. If i can teach myself to cycle, run faster, play an assortment of ball and racquet games and write with my left hand, yes, it's just a matter of time (which i have btw).

Been getting secret coaching from one of the coaches, very nice of him to offer his time. Besides me wanting this, there are people who believe in me, all the more i should keep working at this- literally the missing link. Technique wise I am doing the kicking, twisting, pulling and stuff, but not in one swift, precise moment, so that's keeping me from going faster, faster! Meanwhile though, I'm keeping up the long runs and pullups, not waiting, but moving towards that day when it flows.

ok less talk more action. Bright and early tomorrow (:

"I have not failed 10,000 times. I have successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work"Thomas Edison

week 1

cook out was fun, like some reunion dinner (:

August is back to school for the freshmen, but most importantly, this August, the Olympics await!

TIME's 100 athletes to watch is intriguing despite its selectiveness on a few sports, going to keep that issue.

Week 1 in short: 8 water, 110km, 2 runs, 2 pullups workout, 16h, 6 rest sessions

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”

—Segoyewatha, [Red Jacket]

wheeee

Monday will be my exciting training day (:

Currently without a job, going to check out cafe galilee at bishan library, saw their advert. Preparing to take over all housekeeping when our maid leaves in 1 week's time. Cooking's been good progress, the big cook out on friday awaits (:

It's interesting how much you can learn just by listening and talking to random people.

So here's how i spent Monday: Northern trail run with darinne (7km), 12km row, lunch, rest, tidy shed, 12km row, back to school, 50 pullups (10mins), 150 ipus (10mins).

btw thanks darinne, for me, that's alot of runs in 1.5 weeks.

Both times were exciting, literally had the whole MacRitchie to myself (: Morning was ok, just very chilly plus drizzling and the distant rumbling of thunder. Afternoon, heavy rain. flashes of lightning, plus excitingly enough only the golf course's lightning warning.

Currently testing out my long term training plan, though monday and sunday are rest days/taper according to the ICF training plan (but that's for the last 6 months), i think i'll rest on other days instead, for the first 3 months at least. I find it most effective to have a mix of crowded trainings and quiet ones.

onward!

National Canoeing Championships

Olympics coming up (:

National Canoeing Championships was a good experience, though for the events i'm concerned about, it wasn't as competitive as expected. A summary: 7th for 10,000, 4th in SF for 1000, 4th in heats for 200. Now that things are in order, I can go all out.

For the record, i think i row faster than i run. 1:03:50:99 10km.

"What do you wake up to every day? An alarm clock or phone? For me, I wake up to my calling" Random advert in the newspapers

Perhaps this blog shall take a break

Nationals 2008

and the 2008 season comes to an end

Was a nice reunion to see our J2s and fellow competitors from the other schools, especially the latter, who share exactly the same sentiments about the "best days of our lives".

Darinne is right, i'm letting my next step in life depend on canoeing. It was a nice run by the way, thanks (:

Once again, regardless of results, those who have poured one year of their lives into canoeing and rowed their hearts out deserve their day in the sun. For all that you've put in, even if you don't win, how can you lose?

July is THAT time of the year, where out on water, we see the canoeists do battle and try to justify the last 1.5 years of their lives. The third Nationals i'm watching, it's always a strange thing... like how the sji c div title finally came down to the hopes of one boat, one race. It was a do-or-die, nothing less than first place. As the green boat crossed the finishing buoy just ahead of its rival, the SJI team erupted in cheers. One wonders how those two boys must have felt. on the other hand, sometimes these big, strong, muscular/sinewy monsters we call canoeists dissolve into tears after a race. It's always painful just to even catch a glimpse of that. All that training for what? How true, we row because we need to feel.

Looking back, it's finally been a year. I've asked myself and my team this question many times "Why did we give everything up for canoeing?" and i have yet to find a satisfying answer. It's not that we gave 1.5 years and woke up somewhat confused; ask me again, i'll tell you i don't know, but if i was back in J1 again, i'll still make that choice.

No doubt, the fighting team is the champion team. For the girls, NJC completed their sweep of all 7 gold medals. With all due credit to their 11 times a week training and total dedication, perhaps one reason NJC won is because no one dared to challenge them? Who else really believed they were going to win the gold medal? Who actually trained for a gold medal?

Until one day when another team is ready to take on that challenge, we shall be contented with the success stories of the runners up. In a heavily contested sport at the A division level, with 13 and 14 schools for the girls and boys respectively, on day zero, every school has a chance at the team titles. 2 years ago, the PJ girls epitomised the the fighting spirit. On the brink of getting shut down by their school, they trained hard and made it all come together with a team 2nd finish. Last year, everyone wrote off the hwachong girls, it didn't daunt them. Instead, point by point they clawed their way back to 2nd. This year, the ACJC girls proved how much could be done in 1 year. They did it with a team. MJC boys fought their way to a 3rd place finish, so did ACJC for 4th.

I am humbled each time i witness things like this. It is amazing, a miracle? No, because each medal is made of the same materials- blood and sweat and tears.

So what drives them? The siege mentality, the desire to prove themselves, the thrill of winning or glory? It is something worth understanding if a team envisions itself beating them. Will you row harder than someone who thinks his entire college is depending on him? Will you train harder than someone who believes in "no pain no gain"? Will you fight harder than someone who is rowing for her dream?

Belief is not something to hide behind; Belief is something your protect. Belief is not a word; Belief is action. Belief is beautiful, but it is not just that; Belief is of hope and fear.

Some things need to be sorted out and priorities straightened before we move on to great things. Like always, i see potential, which well, is actually nothing with realisation. Thanks guys for giving me a chance, remember guys, you must want it more than me. It's going to be especially tough, after being unplaced for 2 years. Everyone has 1 year from now till July 2009; you said you want to get a shot at winning, i asked if you're willing to sell one year of your life.

Day zero is early, and the day before it is an even better start.

All the sacrifice! Sacrifice for what? If you sacrifice something for yourself, it is not really sacrifice, is it?

"In the battle of life, it is not the critic who counts; nor the one who points out how the strong person stumbled, or where the doer of a deed could have done better. The credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who does actually strive to do deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotion, spends oneself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at worst, if he or she fails, at least fails while daring greatly. Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those timid spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

Welcome to Day 1

wheeeeee

i still can't bear to put to pen what happened at the dragonboat race, when i can i will though.

anw today was real man, SEVEN hours of lessons. 2 games, 3 fitness, 2 briefing, and a total of 12 hours in school. lol, thought i saw wrongly when RT1 appeared in all 7 columns. wheeeeeeee, haha, PE relief teacher slack eh?

sometimes when you cross over to the other side, suddenly opportunities abound. got a grand plan, haha, i'm not worried whether it'll work out or not, i'm worried about it working too well then who will step up to carry on? It's true; our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure (:

onward! happy birthday comrade